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On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules

There are many things we dread about getting older and many of us spend way too much time pining for our youth. But if there’s one thing I love most about being 50, it’s finally knowing exactly who I am and having the courage and wherewithal to break all the rules.

Now, I’m not talking about breaking laws or hurting people, but women of ‘a certain age’ have experienced a lot and know once and for all what matters and what doesn’t. We no longer worry about what people will think, nor waste our time following others’ visions of what we should and shouldn’t do. We have the freedom to live our lives precisely as we see fit and that is a privilege well worth striving for…

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Today I’m joining a group of ‘seasoned women’ to bring you some thoughts on what it’s like to be over 50, and of particular interest to me, what it’s like to be a creative woman in this particular age group. (Please enjoy the other Fifty and Fabulous posts linked at the bottom of this post.)

So what do I mean by breaking all the rules? Well, for starters, I most definitely wear white after Labor Day and any other time I please! But let’s look at how this experience and confidence manifests itself when entertaining and decorating a home.

If you’ve spent any time reading my blog, you know I love to style tablescapes and I’m a huge rule breaker in that realm. The one question I’m most often asked is why I put the silverware to the right of the plates and my answer is simple… I like it there. It looks prettier grouped together and leaves room on the other side for a lush napkin cluster. Yes, I know where the etiquette books tell me it should be, but I’ve lived long enough to know my home should give me pleasure and I’m unwavering about using things in my home that delight me. My one rule is my decor should make my heart sing. If my guests appreciate it, all the better.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Now, silverware placement is only one among many rules I enjoy breaking. Here are some of my most egregious decorating blasphemes. (If you’d like to look closer at any of these decor ideas, click on the photo to see the full post.)

I’m a huge fan of bringing the outdoors in, and I don’t just mean with plants and nature. I love to use garden statues and other salvaged bits indoors and the cherub above is one example, recently used in a fall vignette. I also enjoy using indoor things outside, and often bring out pillows and throws from our living room to use on the patio for an elegant look.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

I’ve used tableware on the bed, as in the photo above, where the checked pillows were made from napkins and the boudoir pillow in front was made from placemats.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Yet I also use items from the bed, or my closet, on the table. The tablecloth above is in fact a scarf, and many times I’ve used blankets and throws for the very same thing.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

In our bedroom I’ve placed a breakfast table at the foot of the bed for early morning coffee and a luxury hotel feel.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Our guest room blanket graces the table above, while the white bench is actually from our front garden.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

I love to mix patterns and varied fabrics, but especially I enjoy contrasts of masculine with feminine, lace and pinstripes, or tweeds with florals.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Pretty much everything in my home is fair game to hold flowers, and this candle holder worked perfectly here. I like to see objects for the potential they hold and not just for their prescribed use.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

I also love to mix metals together so you’ll often seen both gold and silver and even sometimes some copper thrown in.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Even furniture I use for how it best suits me and not necessarily what it’s supposed to be for. When I needed a dressing table for my master bedroom I chose a writing desk and hutch for its storage potential, as well as the way it looked in the space.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

I have full rooms decorated to suit my preference, instead of how you might expect. Our back entry foyer was set up as a typical mudroom when we purchased our home, but I always want the primary entry that I use to look elegant, so gone are the cubbies and out came the French Country, because that is how I like to be welcomed home.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

For holidays, I celebrate our traditions, but I like to put my own spin on things. For our Passover seder I used vintage mason jars with dipping cups on top as my seder plate, and made place cards to label the items inside.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Mixing mis-matched china is something I do quite often and in the Mother’s Day tablescape above, I draped pretty jewelry among the tabletop items.

Perhaps the biggest rule I’ve broken and the one people were most confused by was when I chose to turn a storage closet into a butler’s pantry. I had to explain to several people why I was putting cabinets in the closet, but it turned out exactly as I had envisioned and we use it all the time.

On Being 50 and Breaking All the Rules | Designthusiasm.com

Whether you’re over 50 or nowhere near it yet, I hope you live your life on your own terms and decorate your home to please yourself and your family. It took me years to learn that most of “the rules” simply don’t matter. If the forks are on the right side of my plates, what difference does it make? After all, do you think left handed people prefer the traditional set up?

Please take some time to visit all the wonderful posts below by my Fifty and Fabulous blogging buddies. They are blessed, it turns out, with years of wisdom!

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Comments

  4. Hi Lory,
    You have a great eye and I would be shocked if anyone disliked a thing in your gorgeous home. I too agree that if you like it that is all that matters. One of the great perks of getting older.

    Reply

  7. Lori,
    I had never been to your blog but found it on Boondocks Blog Fabulous 50 Blog hop. I find it funny to read how you place your silverware to the right instead of the left ! This past Saturday I had a dinner party and as I was setting the table thought to myself, “if I placed the silverware on the right then I would have room for the salad bowls”. Of course it went against etiquette but I said, “oh well….I’ll do what works for me” ! I have also used a new curtain panel as a table cloth because it was the color I needed! I can so relate. I am glad I found this Blog hop. I have actually been trying to hide the fact, on my blog, that I am in fact over 50 but you all have inspired me to embrace it. Thank You!
    Jeannee

    Reply

    • Jeannee, Thanks for your kind words! Yes, it’s actually really fun scavenging the house for things to use on the table… 🙂 I’m so glad you commented because it gave me the chance to visit your blog as well… and let me say… I’m all over that chicken bacon avocado! Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

  8. Lory, you are so right about the fifties being about living life on your own terms. It is such a liberating decade in one’s life and there is so much joy in finally authentically dancing to the beat of your own drum. I put my cutlery on the right side too btw. You have such a talent for creating beautiful spaces. I remember being in awe when you posted your butlers pantry (I think that was the post that introduced me to your work). Enjoyed reading your post today!

    Reply

    • Thanks, Marie! Ah yes, the butler’s panty – probably my all time favorite project yet… 🙂 Although we just started our kitchen this week, so hopefully that will go smoothly as well. Funny you also do the cutlery on the right thing. We rebels must stick together!!

      Reply

  10. I love your elegant style Lory! I think by the age of 50 & thereafter, we’ve earned the right and privilege to decorate as we desire. As I read your post, I see the ways I’m still following the rules, but finally I think I’m giving myself permission to break them. I absolutely LOVE your Mother’s Day table! I wish I had an ounce of your decorating abilities! A beautiful space you have! Is it always that neat? hehheh…

    Reply

    • Thank you so much, Florence! And I definitely think you have permission to break the rules… 😉 Certainly, I follow rules when they suit me, but so often they just seem like silly rules. As for the neatness thing, maybe it’s not always completely pristine, but I am a bit of a neat freak. It would probably not take more than 5 to 10 minutes at any point to get my home photo ready… lol! I would probably benefit by being not so obsessed with order!

      Reply

  11. I too enjoy your blog and love your style! And next time you all have another ‘oldies but goodies’ posts, let me know… (would love to participate) – I’m still ‘finding my own’ (so to speak) with this menopause but I DO enjoy who I am as I turned 50 (that was also my gift to myself to go to Italy) – and so worth it (2 years ago).

    Love your home and your smile.

    Reply

  12. And all those broken rules are gorgeous!

    The whole silverware thing has never made sense to me. I never try to set a pretty table, but just throw that fork on top of a folded paper towel on the right side of the plate. Or we just get it out of the silverware drawer. LOL

    Reply

  14. Oh, I love every single style! I always place my silverware to the right as I am right handed and I prefer it that way. I’m with you on breaking the rules at certain age. I lost my filter and started taking care of myself for once. It doesn’t mean I ignore everyone else around me, but I no longer walk on eggshells as to spare someone’s feelings. It is so liberating! If you don’t like it – tough, lol. Pinning and sharing!

    Reply

  15. I love this post, Lory. I think it’s so important to design your home in a way that works best for you. That butler’s pantry of yours has always been one of my favorites. I actually used that photo as one of my inspiration pictures when we were designing our kitchen. Mine is not a butler’s pantry but a beverage area in our kitchen. I had planned to include the wine fridge below like you have but my frugal husband started cutting me off on the “unnecessary” extras I had planned. 🙁 I also love the way you have your back entry decorated. So nice to see beautiful things when you enter your home!
    Shelley

    Reply

    • Thanks so much, Shelley! Funny thing is, I just started my kitchen renovation and I’m using the butler’s pantry as inspiration there too… lol! I will still have some black counters, so it won’t be exactly the same, but I’m trying to stay as close as possible. And yes, we too have had to compromise some for frugality’s sake. Looking forward to seeing yours… 🙂

      Reply

  22. Love your home and your design philosophy. My home is MINE, so it is full of the things I love and I really don’t feel any obligation to please the masses.

    Reply

  24. I love your style and agree wholeheartedly with all you express here! I do things I like and my way in my own home. I usually don’t follow what others think I should be doing and if it suits me, then I do it. It sure works for you as all that you show here is just perfect and lovely! I love a pretty quilt as a tablecloth and a table at the end of the bed for breakfast is perfect.

    Reply

  26. Lori your last sentence says it all. Do you think left handed people prefer the traditional setup? Different strokes for different folks and that is especially true when we hit our fifties and become comfortable in our own skins. I love all of your rule-breaking and have done quite a few of those myself. The point is to be comfortable in our own homes. I have to say I love your style and especially that pantry in the closet. It looks so elegant.

    Reply

  27. I confess I didn’t wait til 50 to break rules, I guess I always wondered who made the rules anyway and how were they qualified to tell the rest of us how we should live life? *winks* But I wholeheartedly agree that this Season of Life is liberating, much moreso than Youth, who knew? Now I totally know why my Nanna and Mom were Cool Seasoned Ladies, they relished this Wonderful Season of Life and thus set an empowering example that growing Old is a privilege not afforded to many, so Enjoy it thoroughly and notice the particular benefits! Blessings from the Arizona Desert… Dawn… The Bohemian

    Reply

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